Hello Readers,
If I were to judge this day, I would have to judge this day as
both enlightening and depressing.
I, once again, spent the day with Dr. M but instead of clocking
off at 5 p.m. we instead took off early. Today is what she calls her half-day,
where she purposely schedules patients up until a certain time so she can treat
her other patients. I learned that in addition to the patients she has at the
hospital, she also has patients in a nursing home close to the clinic. Before
this I had never once set foot into nursing home, and from what I saw I never
want to go back.
My first impression of the nursing home was that the entire
environment felt like the end. It was almost as if, there was no hope. The
nursing home was divided into two areas: the acute illness and the chronic
illness. On the acute illness side, elderly patients are admitted for temporary
care, the usual reasons behind this admittance is typically because of a hip
replacement, broken leg, etc. After the temporary care has been fulfilled the relatives
of the elder patients take them back to their homes. On the chronic illness
side, elderly patients are admitted for permanent care, the usual reasons
behind this admittance is typically due to the psychological diagnosis of
dementia, PTSD, etc. Sadly, residence in chronic side of the nursing home is
due to a families or the states inability to provide and care for elderly.
While I was in the chronic side of nursing home, I noticed that despite all the
effort to make the place seem the cheery it actually lent more to its
depressing aura.
At the nursing home we visited her patients, all of which were on
the chronic illness side. While I was there, too many things that went wrong. The
chronic side of the home was just a chaotic environment. At the nursing home I noticed there was a lot
of miscommunication and discrepancies between the doctors orders and the nurses
administration. I noticed that despite the treatments and love being poured into these patients in the chronic ward, it does not improve their standard of living. It was in the chronic illness ward that I was introduced to the
topic of when enough is enough. Life
sadly boils down to three things: available medication for treatment, the
amount of monetary strain a retired person or family is willing to gamble, and
the life expectancy of said person. It is truly hard to witness a patient or
family saying these words, but I feel that it would be even harder to give
advice as a physician on what to expect once these decisions are made.
What I have witnessed in the past week has led me to two
conclusions so far: 1) doctors regardless of their specialty are maybe on the
strongest and bravest people that are alive, 2) I really cannot say with the
utmost certainty that a personality test would be an adequate way to determine whether
or not I am internal medicine material.
Thanks for reading,
Inspired and Depressed
With Tri-M and NHS, we go to the Barton House (for elderly with amnesia) every year around Christmas time. It's split into two houses too. I didn't know there was a difference until I was sent to the other house because there weren't enough volunteers there. The houses there are split by the amount of
ReplyDeletedementia :(
It's really great of you to have spent some time with them.
On a happier, more encouraging note, I think you're internal medicine material :) You're more than smart enough. You care, as seen in this post, which means you're passionate. I think you can make it.